Death of Melina Frattolin | How to support children who cry a friend?

On Saturday. However, little Melina Frattolin was said to have been killed by her father during their vacation in the United States. For example, The 9 -year -old girl will never find other students from her Montreal primary school. Meanwhile, How to accompany a child in the mourning of a friend, a neighbor or a classmate? Moreover, Here are some tracks to enlighten the parents.

Should we talk about death from the start? – Death melina frattolin | how

Yes. For example, Retaining information will not protect our child. Therefore, “Very often. In addition, it may cause more damage, because the child can hear death melina frattolin | how the information [aux nouvelles ou auprès d’autres enfants] Without having a reassuring place to ask her questions, ”explains Alexandra Gagnon, psychoeducator at Deuil-Jeunesse, an organization specializing in support against mourning. Furthermore, To approach the subject. Meanwhile, she recommends choosing a calm place, where the child feels safe, and also to avoid inventing a story to soften reality.

The president of the Order of Psychologists, Christine Grou, also abounds in the same direction. For example, “Avoiding the trouble is not realistic. Meanwhile, It is rather necessary to give children tools to face it. Nevertheless, including a reassuring parental presence which gives them a speech space. Therefore, »»

How to explain it? – Death melina frattolin | how

Primary children do not all have the same level of understanding of death. depending on their age, personality and mourning they have experienced. And they don’t death melina frattolin | how all have the same proximity to the dead person. “The best driving to hold for parents is to give information, but only the information [qu’ils jugent] relevant. It is not necessary to give all the details, ”specifies Mr.^me Grou.

“We have no choice but to stay in a vocabulary which is simple. concrete, and which is [ancré] in the truth. Then after that, we’re going to see if he has questions, ”says Alexandra Gagnon. This step makes it possible to correct the shooting if the child has misunderstood our words.

Should the criminal context change our way of intervening with our child?

For Alexandra Gagnon, creating a discussion space reassures the child. “We, as an adult, we say that a murder will necessarily bring more reactions to our children. In fact, all types of death have death melina frattolin | how their particularities, and that is part of history, ”she says. “If we hide a part of the truth, the young person will be able to go and get her, information. »»

Grou. In the case of a publicized case. the president of the OPQ also suggests accompanying the child when he looks at the newsletter or that he will read a newspaper article dealing with the situation.

Does school have a role to play?

According to the two experts. even if death occurred during the school holidays, the school staff will have to tackle the subject at the start of the school year. “You may only react when he sees the concrete impacts [de l’absence] », Underlines Alexandra Gagnon. “We. as an adult, we know that at the start of the school year, this young person death melina frattolin | how will not return to school. But the child may be so in the present moment that he does not realize him. »»

The school offers children a place that allows them to talk about group mourning. with a professional or with an adult of trust, but also to understand that life continues, even if the daily life has been jostled by the death of a loved one. “” [Ça permet] to explain to children that even if [la défunte] is no longer at school. it does not disappear in their memory, in their hearts and in their feelings, ”adds Christine Grou.

From what moment should we worry and consult?

“Living mourning, even young, is almost a must. It is by making mourning that we grow up and mature, supports Christine Grou. What we hope, for young death melina frattolin | how people is that they will not be too traumatic mourning. The psychologist recalls that it is normal for a child to be affected the first evenings. It recommends paying attention to behavior changes that would last several weeks without fading.

“What should also be avoided is to suggest to the child that he should almost stop working. then collapsed,” she adds. I think you just have to be vigilant, attentive, present and loving, like any good parent. Then, in case of doubt, we can learn about professionals. »»

Alexandra Gagnon invites parents to request an accompaniment if they do not know how to manage the situation. “They can call us if they have questions to which they cannot answer. Our specialized intervention telephone can really equip them. Generally, within 24 hours, you have a response from a professional. »»