Always more alone: “mankeeping” or how male loneliness weighs on couple relationships

A new term appears: “mankeeping”. He describes the emotional care that women often assume for men. But what is he hiding behind this expression?

Clean, store, keep an overview – at the latest during what is called “housekeeping”, we know how much work is behind a well -organized daily life. But what happens if these invisible care move more and more to the emotional world of men?

The term “Mankeeping” was invented by researchers Angelica Ferrara, doctoral student at the University of Stanford, and Dylan Vergara, scientific collaborator, and published for the first time in the specialized journal “Psychology of Men & Masculinity”.

“Mankeeping” is the emotional work that women assume in heterosexual relationships. For example, remember birthdays, coordinate meetings with common friends, listen, ask and support. This means being the central support system for the partner. Manage his stress, interpret his mood and accompany him through feelings he does not share with anyone else.

The circle of friends of men is increasingly reduced

Stanford researchers who invented the term think that this is due to what is called the “Male Loneeliness Epidemic” (translate: the epidemic of male solitude). This term describes the growing isolation and loneliness of men in today’s society.

As the circle of friends of men is increasingly reduced, their partners must assume more and more things which are in fact taken care of by friends or colleagues.

In an American survey carried out in 2021, 15% of men declared that they had no close friends, against 3% in 1990. In 1990, almost half of young men said that they would turn to their friends in the event of personal problems; Three decades later, just over 20% said the same thing.

Ferrara tells the “New York Times” (NYT) that “women tend to go towards all these support nodes to which they were heading in the event of problems, while men tend to turn only to themselves”.

More and more women no longer want a relationship

The term “mankeeping” is derived from the concept of “kinkeeping”. A “Kinkeeper” is a person who maintains the feeling of solidarity and family attachment, explains Carolyn Rosenthal, professor of sociology at McMaster University in Canada. She looked at this subject in the 1980s. Such people act in many ways such as the “glue” of the family.

It is especially the women who are concerned, because it is they who do emotional work to maintain cohesion and links within the family. Things like planning a family meeting, helping everyone stay in touch, reminding men their birthday and buying gifts on their behalf – tasks that were typically accomplished by wives and mothers, and which are still in many places today.

“Mankeeping” would also have the consequence that more and more women want to remain single, as reported by several American media. According to an American study, only 38% of single women are on the meeting market, compared to 61% of men.

It is difficult to say what is the situation in Switzerland. No specific figure, study or survey is held up to date on this subject.

AI notice: this article was translated from German using artificial intelligence.