In search of stories and storytelling at the Hollywood, Ligue 1 + had not even dared to imagine it in his wildest dreams. No problem, OM has served him the most beautiful crisis of his last ten years, perhaps tied with the departure of Marcelo Bielsa on the first day of the 2015-2016 season after a defeat at the Vélodrome against Caen.
By causing themselves on the face in the locker room after a shameful as predictable setback in Rennes, after a goal of blas in stoppages despite a numerical superiority, Adrien Rabiot and Jonathan Rowe opened one of the biggest brothels in the history of Olympique de Marseille. The club officially announced that it wanted the departure of the two men, immediately placed on the club list by the club, opening the door to a season that we imagine already memorable. All scenarios are now possible. Here is ours.
OM – Paris FC, Vélodrome stadium, August 23, 2025
It is in an overheated velodrome but torn between the fierce desire to support Roberto de Zerbi at all costs, and the fear of having been deceived on the merchandise with a coach of the crazy bus, that the Olympians disembark on the lawn with the crecon paper guibolles. The opportunity for the promoted Parisian to shoot the hearse only asks to be seized, and, as if the fate had not already been hard enough on this club, it is a maxim Lopez half-happy, half-deputy, which comes to equalize with an old goal of hanging up in the 98th minute of play, an hour after the opening of the Marseille score and the usual sterile domination. Bronca of the bike is up to the start of the season. And to say that in a week we will have to go to Lyon, never as good as when his Olympian counterpart is at the bottom of the hole.
OL-OM, Group Stadium, 31 août 2
Prohibited from travel, OM supporters have little illusion about the outcome of this match. A year after airing the OL Park on a Rowe goal in the 97th minute, they know in advance, like us, that this match smells of the head. Two months earlier, the OM celebrated its qualifier in the Champions League when OL booked the rooms of the Ibis Hotel in Rodez for the first day of Ligue 2, but as the so -called “inverted Olympic” theory wants, the flies have changed donkey and OL won without forcing a team that no longer knows where it lives. Furious against the attitude of his players, whom he deals with “little ballerinas without balls” in front of the immersion cameras of Ligue 1 +, of Zerbi forces the group to return on foot to Marseille because, we quote, “that will make them feet to his tocards”. Anyway, no choice, the bus broke down after being stunned on the road to Groupama Stadium.
OM – Barça, Vélodrome stadium, Tuesday September 16, 2025
And it is in this atmosphere at the “Squideu Gamesss” that the Marseillais launched their European campaign, three years after their last appearance in the Champions League, against … FC Barcelona. Hey yeah, when that doesn’t want to … Faced with 11 depressive studs, Lamine Yamal makes them dance for their heyday and slams a quadruple which relaunches the golden ball race on the networks (while the votes have been closed for three weeks). Lack of pot, Marseille fans cannot celebrate the good news, torn between their heart club and their other heart club.
OM – PSG, September 21, 2025
After having aligned a team B since the start of the season, Luis Enrique decides to respect the Marseille institution by aligning an 11 stratospheric on the lawn of the Vélodrome, more or less the one who martyred Europe last season and destroyed the Inter in the final. What if the Italians had ridiculed themselves by taking a manita in the gums, what about the 6-0 inflicted by the Lucho Boys after the meeting? Having become also red as the third Parisian jersey wooded that evening in Marseille, Roberto de Zerbi returns arms.
Like Marcelo Bielsa before him, the Italian coach announces his resignation at a press conference. In the stands, the atmosphere is at least also rotten and Pablo Longoria, who had just learned of the departure of Zerbi live on Twitter, is united by angry supporters who promise him the tar, the pastis and the feathers. He will still succeed in leaving the stadium under escort and fleeing aboard the car of the young trainee at the Com ‘of the club who wonders where he fucked up. “Vamos, Vamos, screams a Longoria in a panic. And you don’t stop until you have passed the Spanish border! »»
Strasbourg – OM, September 28, 2025
Without news from the president of OM who, we will learn the next morning, went to hide in the family home with his darling mother, in the Huesca region, in Spain, Mehdi Benatia has no choice but to take the reins of the team but also from the club, in a role of double-chain coach-president. But the context is too complicated, even for him, and the best friend of the LFP disciplinary committee disgusts during the trip to Strasbourg, a week later.
Furious with the litigious penalty granted to the Alsatians in the stoppages, Benatia tumbles into furious in the locker room of Clément Turpin, which will be found a few moments later hung on the wallet, his fluettes legs swing in the wind such as Jamel Debbouze in Asterix and Cleopatra. “This soil is weird, it is not palpable. This scene, cavited by the cameras of Ligue 1 +, will still escape social networks a few minutes later thanks to a CDD in search of buzz and followers.
The fall of Benatia, October 1, 2025
Prohibited from all official functions for life in the French championship, Benatia is the last man in the trio that we thought indestructible to leave a ship which is increasingly like a vulgar Rafiot. It is therefore quite natural that Rachid Zeroual, the chief of the Marseille ultras of the South Winners, offers his services to the blue and white people to “put order in this putaing of Merdier” and ensure the transition pending the appointment of a new president. While waiting for the arrival of the providential man, Zeroual is seen on the terrace of the Intercontinental hotel in Marseille, in great discussion with Rolland Courbis, then expected to play the firefighters on the bench. Published on social networks by an unscrupulous Insider, the photo of the two men will trigger a shield raising in the ranks of OM ultra. The return of Courbis is pschitt.
Christophe Galtier tumbles, October 4, 2025
Fearing that they would not finish the job started in September 2023 by passing the commandery to napalm, Franck Mc Court has no choice but to take matters into hand. Arrived on the eve of the trip to Metz, the owner of the OM announces having reached an agreement with … Christophe Galtier, the former PSG coach, announced for a time at OM after the departure of Tudor. And it is therefore quite natural that the newly appointed coach in Neom, in Saudi Arabia, breaks his contract with the Saudis to “live his kid’s dream and train Olympique de Marseille”, relying at the same time the rumor of the club’s acquisition by the homeland of human rights.
The ideal opportunity for journalist Thibaud Vézirian to publish a new video on Youtube entitled “So the rageux, who was right in the end?” ». The same evening, a silhouette appears in the distance in the creeks: it is the elected Christophe Galtier, hair in the wind, which arrives with any ball on board its custody tank and repainted in the colors of OM. The continuation belongs to history.
