Evil of the century
Loneliness strikes more than one in ten Swiss
Our survey reveals the magnitude of a scourge now considered a public health problem by the WHO. Testimonials and solutions in the face of this contemporary challenge.
What if loneliness was the true evil of the century?
IMAGO
- WHO alerts to loneliness, particularly touching men.
- Disease and financial precariousness considerably aggravate social isolation.
- Volunteering and collective activities are effective solutions against solitude.
Feel alone, useless, unloved. It is one of the worst things for the human being, a social animal by nature. The World Health Organization (WHO) has just sounded alarm. Loneliness represents “the challenge of our time” and causes serious health problems.
We asked our readers how often they feel this feeling of solitude. We also wanted to know what they were doing to fight isolation, and if that helped them. More than 700 people participated in this non -representative survey.
More than one in ten reads “alone permanently”. At the international level as in Switzerland, there is an “epidemic of male solitude”. Our survey confirms this trend. Male readers under the age of 65 are slightly more numerous than readers to feel “alone permanently”. In the age group for over 65, the trend is reversed. All ages combined, almost one in three people says never feel alone, with 28%, against less than one in five women.
Several factors promote isolation: age, chronic diseases, financial precariousness, foreigner or single status, monoparentality and shame. Even life in a large family can give an impression of loneliness.
Among those who feel alone “constantly” or “from time to time”, 92% have tried to change their situation. We have classified their testimonies in four categories and publish here a selection of letters in abbreviated version.
When loneliness settles
Despite many attempts to make friends, whether out of outings or in a group, efforts have failed.
Marie S.* (* All names have been changed) represents 65 and over. She suffers from permanent solitude. “I try to build contacts, but it’s very difficult. When I meet someone, it doesn’t last. I pass every day isolated in a large apartment. The day is twice as long. I’m still alone, I can’t talk to anyone for weeks. ”
Lea M.*, 15-29 years old, also lives in a hard solitude. “It is difficult to make friends. It is a taboo, an almost impossible mission, the reports are inauthentic. In daily life – work, school, university, association – contacts are often superficial. Many already have someone or feel blocked. ”
Salomé G.*, 30-65 years old, evokes temporary loneliness. “I find it very difficult and exhausting to establish new contacts or to rekindle old links since my separation, after a long marriage without children. I still have trouble believing that I was able to find myself in this situation. ”
Loneliness has become one of the main health problems of the 21st century.
WOLFGANG MARIA WEBER/IMAGO
Pierre W.*, 30-65 years old, lives alone permanently. “I am in associations and on Dating applications. I also actively try to get in touch with loved ones, but I have not yet found a solid relationship. ”
Danièle L.*, 30-65 years old, also suffers from regular solitude. “Dance and others, special events, excursions, leisure, registration on a dating site, parish, invitations, nothing bears fruit over the long term. I think it also has to do with the mentality in Switzerland. People are nice, but when they have their own circle, you don’t enter it. We stay outside. “
Rosa I.*, 65 and over, has the impression of living in partial solitude. “I often meet when I walk with my dog, and sometimes I would like to chat with people. But it is rare for someone to linger. “
Sandra H.*, 30-65 years old, shares this feeling. “I have been sick for years, still in the hospital. I lost my social contacts. I was already believed to be dead when I was still alive. ”
Anne K.*, 65 years and over, lives alone permanently. “I am touched by poverty. Many things are inaccessible for me. Knowledge has distanced themselves, my family too. ”
Sabrina G.*, 30-65 years old, is very often alone. “I tried to create a network as a single motherworking almost full time. I have a good job. On the Internet, playing sports. I did not succeed. Our realities of life and our interests are too different. ”
Iris H.*, 30-65 years old, sometimes experiences a feeling of loneliness. “I feel rather alone because, between the family, the children and the work, I do not have time to see my old friends. They live the same frantic race as me and also lack time and energy. It is not the missing contacts, it is the quality that is lacking. ”
Antoinette U.*, 30-65 years, too, suffers a little. “Without a dog, I would be very alone.”
How to overcome loneliness?
Sometimes old friendships reappear or family ties help. Sometimes new links were created during activities.
Some bear witness to good experiences with meeting applications such as Meetup or SpontactsGerman -style Swiss side.
André N.*, 93, never feels alone. “I don’t have time to feel isolated, although I live without helping since the death of my wife four years ago. I am very connected with the neighbors, many friends and parents. The problem is rather to find the time to meet. I write the story of my family, but I do not advance for lack of availability. ”
Lara B.*, 15-29, sometimes fears solitude. “I lived in shared for years, but I was fed up. Then I left for work. I felt alone in my new place of life. I share an apartment again. “
Sarah V.*, aged 30 to 65, flees solitude at times. “I take a salsa class to heal my soul. Laughing and dancing makes me very happy. I like to smile at people and receive a smile in return. I cultivate my social relationships and remain open to new meetings. Talking to my staff, greeting people I only know about, the effect is amazing. “
A relaxed Latin dance puts in a good mood.
NEIL MILTON/IMAGO
Adèle T.*, 30-65 years old, says he is alone from time to time. “I met people on different platforms and I had great meetings.”
Louise G.*, 65 and over, would sometimes like to see more people. “I organize readings, yoga circles and I am part of a choir. But it only led to the feeling of loneliness that the time of activity. Going home becomes heavy. You have to think every day who to contact, meet or invite, which requires constant effort. “
Eva K.*, 65 years and over, is of the same opinion. “After retirement, all my social contacts disappeared. I now participate in Pro Senectute activities and I feel better. ”
Patricia M.*, 65 years and over, does not know loneliness. “My husband died when I was 43 years old. We did not have any children. I have always invested a lot of time and energy in my wedding, my work, my family and my circle of friends. We harvest what we sow. Today, I am 66 years old, I live alone and I am happy. I don’t feel bad. I am an integral part of several groups, worn and loved. As a half-Italian, I also have a lot of contacts thanks to this culture. ”
Aude F.*, 30-65 years old, would like more links. “I rent rooms to students and tourists. Like that, I am never alone at home. ”
Philippe W.*, 65 years and over, does not fear loneliness. “I am active as president of a cooking club. I participate in various car groups on Facebook. I actively maintain my circle of friends. Many of my peers are too lazy, passive and not very motivated. I prefer to move with people sometimes much younger. ”
Help others
Volunteering is generally perceived as a beneficial approach for all, as is the invitations made to isolated people.
Philippine S.*, 65 years and over, says she does not suffer. “I am not alone, because I do volunteering in the social field. I highly recommend getting involved, a win-win return. ”
Volunteering is possible both in the protection of nature and animals and in the social field.
BIRDLIFE
Karin L.*, 30-65 years old, claims never to be alone. “I visit the elderly in the village. Surprised visits are happy to the two parties. But sometimes they generate a refusal. It must be accepted without frustration. “
Pauline S.*, 30-65 years old, needs to be alone from time to time. “I regularly visit a colleague at the retirement home. It helps us both. ”
Like to be alone
Finally, there are also those who celebrate solitude. For some, the desire to be alone is born from a life experience. For others, it has always existed.
Sophie F.*, 65 years and over, does not fear loneliness. “I don’t feel alone, even if I have few contacts. I am misunderstanding because of a disease. At the beginning, I had trouble, then I discovered that there are a lot of things that we can do with pleasure, even alone. I go to the gym And I take 8000 steps per day with my pedometer. I move by train. In the evening, I am happy to have peace. There is TV and Internet. “
Leo U.*, 30-65, appreciates loneliness. “I have never been and am never alone. I like to be alone. “
Alessia M.*, 30-65, rarely feels alone. “I like to be alone. Many are accompanied and yet feel alone. I prefer to be alone in bad company. I know how to take care of myself or do nothing. “
François M.*, 65 years and over, needs it. “I appreciate the moments when I am alone.”
Translated from German by Emmanuelle Stevan
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